The Curtains Are Closing
by Sev-chan
Summary: This is just a couple of very short fic's I decided to put under one title. They're Sprace oriented. And the second one is a bit ...angsty. Hope you enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't flame, don't sue.

Warning: Nothing, unless you're not a slash fan.

And on the Radio, is a Sad Song, That I Don't Want to Hear, Anymore

The tune carried itself out of the stereo system and bounced off the wall and echoed through the house. The sun hung gently in the soft breeze and soft blue sky. The rhythmic sound of someone slowly swinging them-self on the hammock was just outside the double glass doors. His foot seemed to drag on the warm cement while he sipped on his Blue Hawaiian out of the long deep blue cup. The rustle of palm leaves and gentle waves hitting the edge of the pool, set about a calm that only seemed to remind him of all the screaming that had just been going on. He smirked and took another sip out of his cup as the radio played on. He still had no idea why he kept it on. It was like ritual for him. They'd get into a fight, **He** would leave, while he just lazed about the house contemplating about the things they'd said to one another.

He lazily sang along with the radio, that strange melodic tune. His free foot swayed with the beat and with each beat he picked another piece of their fight. It wasn't like it was earth shattering, but he hated, he didn't' know why he did it. Part of him felt like maybe he was one of those people who weren't happy unless they had something to be pissed about. But that would him to a lonely life, though he figured with that mentality he'd never be happy. He wanted desperately to be happy and **He** made him happy, so why did he push him away? He smirked again and took another sip of his drink, he remembered the day they met.

The day had been thick and oppressive, you could tell it was going to rain, just didn't know when. He'd been walking, or maybe it was trudging, down the sidewalk. His long black coat that reached the back of his knees flared about him. He'd been carrying an umbrella in one hand and a carrying case with a camera in the other. That's when the sky had decided to let out a sudden downpour. He'd franticly reached for his umbrella and had tried to open it had got snagged on someone briefcase zipper and ripped. By the time he'd made it to the subway station, it had showed his umbrella had done little to shield him from the water. He'd been shaking the water out of his hair when the subway car had slowed to a halt and in those few second before the doors opened he'd seen him. **He'd** been standing right in front of the doors, obviously standing for lack of seating, and he'd had this look of shock on his face. Much like how he'd felt when he had seen him.

That had been five years ago. How they'd managed to stay together this long and still say "I love you" to each other, and mean it, was be yond him. But there wasn't a moment that didn't go by that wasn't filled with thoughts of the man he loved, good or bad. He was about to get up and call him, when he noticed the scent of cigarette smoke filling the air. he smiled to himself, but didn't turn around. And when an arm curled around the front of his chest just above where his cup sat, he smiled even wider.

"What have we here?" his smiled turned into a self satisfied smirk.

"I know, I know, I came 'round first this time. So sue me," he pulled the blue cup out of his hand and took a drink before setting it aside.

The two of them settled themselves next to each other. The hammock continued to rhythmically swing, both of them gently pushing it.

"You know something Anthony….."

"What Shawn?"

"I hate it when we fight, but……I hate it most, when you're gone," he reached down and grabbed Anthony's hand.

"Me too Shawn, me to….."

XXX

A/N: having the inability to actually write full chapters at the moment, this is pretty much all I got. In about week I should be free from education hell. Then in two weeks , I'm back to school. Oh, title for this chapter came from the song Julia, by Lowmilions.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't flame, don't sue.

Warning: Um…..nothing really, unless you want to infer that Spot ……well, you'll find out…..

Notes: Underlined things are sort of like my three x's, it signals a new piece.

**The Act of Loving**

_Some love is destined to last a lifetime, while others are left to dwindle and wither away. You see a pair and swear "they are destined to make it", but in all honesty they hate it. The attention, their love, it's not real. Sometimes even, it feels one-sided. Your inner commentary fills your head with thoughts that real love is none existent. So much so that you start to really believe it. It hurts so much to know you **can** love someone that deeply, say you love them, and never mean it; setting yourself up for years of bitterness and loneliness. When all your really want is something you told yourself, wasn't real._

XXX

Alone he sat in the dark empty room. The only light came from the sparks his lighter sent into the air as he rhythmically rolled the now searing metal. The pad of his thumb scarred. The smell of the dank musty curtains, blankets, and pretty much all fabric encompassed the room. Broken glass near broken windows never fixed. The sound of a solo piano being played from the old karaoke machine. The spark of the lighter. Cars below honking in the crowded streets. People talking or cursing so loudly you could almost make out conversations over the music. The bitter taste in the back of his mouth, that bitter taste of words left unsaid. Another cigarette bud on the floor, another spark of the lighter. The sound of a train………

I'm dying to live without you again

_Shawn smiled as he waited for Anthony to come back with their drinks. Sitting comfortably in the well upholstered seats in the coffee house down town. Perfect, easy, comfortable, quiet. Their love was like a puzzle piece fitting neatly in its place. Perhaps some forced may have been used, but it fit. Sometimes though, Shawn wondered, if the piece was just in the wrong puzzle box. They'd done this once before. Split up and got back together, but it was hard not to be around Anthony and not wanting to hold him. The same for Anthony as well. He'd see the other boy and remember what it was like to hold this person. Those lips were familiar, those eyes were warm, his skin, his body was home. To not slip into habit, to remember those smiles and fond memories came hard._

It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent

But it also brought back those memories of nights spent waiting for a call that never came. He stared at the dusty phone left untouched. So much time had been spent laying down beside that phone when he was younger. Sprawled on top of a blanket, that same blanket by that same phone, hair about him, gracing the soft fabric. Now it was just a decaying memory left to blend in with the ground. A dusty film of time to cover up the pain. He sparked the lighter again. That sound made him smile; it was the only thing that made him smile now. Flick, spark, flick, spark, smile.

I'm dying, dying to forget about you

_They'd spent their prom beneath the stars, alone, together. Dancing to the music from beneath them a deck below. Promises of love forever. Promises of lies. But who was he to not believe Anthony? Anthony was his truth. He'd pull out his silver lighter and flick it, only for the sound, Anthony loved the sound. It reminded him of cigarettes. His father smoked when he'd been alive. Spot hated cigarettes. They'd watched the water reflect lights from nearby buildings. Anthony would wrap his arms around Spot rest his chin on his shoulder. This was comfortable._

I'm dying to say what I always should have said

Flick, spark, smile. They'd finally done it, separated for good. It was the hardest thing had ever done. They'd said so much and said so little. Anthony cried, cried like he did the last time they'd split up. Only this time, he'd said thank you. That final goodbye filled with a thank you and a kiss. And a thank you for what? Letting him cry. Loving him so deeply? Being strong enough not to cry like him, that way, he knew one of us wasn't a mess? On the outside you can be strong on the inside he was a wreck. Anthony, he wasn't strong. Not like him.

Dying to find a distraction

_It was easy to fall in love again. It was hard to stop loving someone. When they'd met again after college, it had been all wrong. They'd ran into each other at the super market. Their eyes had locked and before they knew it they were at Anthony's apartment. He was back in Antony's arms, skin against skin, franticly trying to meld themselves to each other. No two people needed each other like they thought they did. But apparently, you could love someone without truly loving them. Regardless of how many times Anthony whished he loved him while making love to him as he hovered above and touched him like before. Shawn had cared, Shawn had loved, but to let it get this bad?_

Dying to reach a conclusion

He really whished it didn't have to hurt this bad. It got so awful he'd whished, he'd prayed, that they had never met. This was no life to live. Strike up old lighters that never worked, sticking up old memories to tare open old scars left to bleed. There was Anthony's smile, there was Anthony's laugh…..there was Anthony ……sitting in that old broken picture frame. It had been easy, perfect, neutral the first time they'd split up, but it was easy to deal with that when you were young. Once you get older, things get harder. Things became more prominent. Flick, spark…..

Now there's not a prayer that can survive

It will always be that day in the parlor in those soft comfortable upholstered seats. Spot will always be smiling, waiting…..and Anthony will always someday be finally coming back. Those were his thoughts, Spot's thoughts, as he smiled.

Flick

That whole place was a hazard.

Spark

His eyes lit up as that scent filled the room.

Smile

He tossed the lighter on the old blanket.

Fire

That dam lighter always did stick.

_Dying to die just to come back_

_So we can meet again_

XXX

A/N: All the underlined lines and the last italicized lines are from the song Dying, by Five For Fighting. I wrote this a while back, didn't feel it was long enough to stand on it's own.


	3. Chapter 3

Song Fic: Darren Hayes- Where You Want To Be (I cut the last verse to fit my purposes)

Where You Want To Be

It was so strange, he didn't even remember keeping any of these things sitting right there in front of him. It was so long ago all the photo's and letters brought back memories of running around and sneaking off just to be together. That day they got into that huge fight with each other, that same night apologizing indignantly sounding as if they didn't mean it when they really did. He picked up a folded letter, slight water damaged around the edges, brown spots seeping into the edges of semi burnt paper. Anthony found himself smiling. It's crazy how time changes everything and everyone around you till nothing was quite recognizable anymore.

_Hey there stranger, do you remember?_

_You were a part of my life_

_Early December, think I remember?_

_Sentiment cuts like a knife_

_The seasons are changing, life's rearranging _

_Full of could've dones, would've beens_

_It's all your fault, and where have you been_

_And how time goes, and now I don't even know_

_How to fill the spaces of the love you erased in my life._

School bells rang and teenagers hustled about shuffling in all directions and Tony spotted him from across the hall. He made his way over and gently punched him in the shoulder and smiled. Shawn punched him back and they headed off with their friends. They all sat together in the back next to the crowded portables next to the trees, that's when a note fell out of his pocket.

One of their friends picked it up and unfolded it and started reading it. Shawn immediately noticed and snatched it away from him.

"Dude, that's just sick, you guys are-" Shawn shoved him.

"Shawn! What the hell are you doing?" Anthony yelled, then noticed the letter and patted his pocket and felt the empty space where it use to be.

"Chill the fuck out Jack."

"They're fags, I mean come on that's sick, it ain't right."

"Fuck you!" Shawn shoved him again then turned on Anthony, "and what I tell you about carrying this crap in your pocket!"

"You're blaming me?" Anthony glared at him feeling defensive.

"Of course I'm blaming you, it's your fault isn't it, Tony!" he shoved him now.

Anthony shoved him back, "Fuck you it's always my fault!"

"Yes, it is!"

The two of them continued shoving each other till it turned into a fist fight. Mostly to their friends it was more strange to see them fighting then to find out they were, well, mostly to everyone, but Jack. A couple of teachers had to come and break them up, by that time a full crowd had formed and was cheering them on. Questions of what happened and who started it and what were they fighting about were being asked left and right.

They ended up suspended for two weeks, neither talking about what had happened. In those two weeks all they did was argue over the phone and by the time they went back to school, they'd already split up. Neither sparing the other more then a glance.

Tony sighed to himself as he put the letters back where he found them and tapped up the box. Carefully he labeled the box and stacked it with the rest of his things to be placed in the moving truck. Maybe time would keep changing things till all he remembered were only the good moments. Sometimes he still wondered what Shawn was doing.

_Are you where you want to be?_

_Did you get there easily?_

_Did they make you sacrifice?_

_Did you make a sharp left_

_When you should've turned right?_

_Are you where you want to be?_

_Did you sell off all of your gold_

_Did you trade it in_

_Did you wait for love_

_Or settle for somebody to hold?_

Shawn kept throwing stuff into the trashcan, it sucked having to move back home because he couldn't make the rent anymore. It seemed like life just liked to fuck him over time and time again. Losing his job was the pinnacle moment of failure, or at least that's what he had thought at the time. Twenty-three and having to move back in with your mommy and daddy was just an embarrassment. He made to pick up another box and tossed it into the trashcan, the lid came off and paper flew out. He bent down to pick them up and realized what they were.

Shawn smiled to himself and sat down next to the trashcan and started reading threw them. Some were written in red, others in blue, mainly in black. Some were folded into squares, a lot actually since they didn't know many fancy folds back then. One was in the shape of a heart, he never did give that one to Anthony.

_And barely symphonic_

_But strangely ironic_

_Moments contained in one glance_

_Oh how I adored you_

_But now I'm ignored by you_

_No evidence of romance_

_And now it's vaguely familiar _

_I think I remember sharing every single intimacy_

_It doesn't seem so strange to me that we barely entertained_

_Even the politest of phrases _

_But sometimes at night_

_I conjure you up in my mind_

It was four days since they'd broken up and Shawn felt like he was missing something very important. He was missing Tony, he'd never go and admit he'd made a mistake, but he'd definitely think it to himself. Like he had been these past four days which felt more like a century, maybe he could just write Anthony and things could be the same.

So he opened a notebook tore out a page and carefully trimmed the edges till they were just how he wanted them. Next the grabbed a pen, not just any pen it was the pen Tony made him in woodshop with his name engraved in it and everything. It was something that was most precious to him and he told himself he'd never throw it out even if it ran out of ink. Then he began writing.

Four hours later and about eight tries he finally had the perfect letter. He stared down at it reading it over again carefully making sure there were no errors and seeing how much he poured his heart out into it…

"Dear Tony, I'm sorry," he said to himself as he started to fold it into that familiar square then stopped.

He unfolded it and smoothed it out and started again and again and again till he finally got it into the shape he wanted it to be. He stared at it once more, the shape of an angled heart, many creases in it, but conveying what he meant.

That next day at school he made his way around campus trying all day to give it to him, or slip it to him, but he never got the chance. He couldn't find him, no matter how hard he tried and he knew Tony was there. He got the feeling that something was telling him they just weren't meant to be.

Shawn stood up and grabbed the box from the trash and set it aside and went to go find an envelope. It may be too late, but it didn't mean he couldn't mail him an old note. As lame as that was it would make him fell so much better, a lot more better then he'd felt in ages. Maybe if he was lucky enough Tony would still remember him.

_Are you where you want to be?_

_Did you get there easily?_

_Did they make you sacrifice?_

_Did you make a sharp left_

_When you should've turned right?_

_Are you where you want to be?_

_Did you sell off all of your gold_

_Did you trade it in?_

_Did you wait for love_

_Or settle for somebody to hold?_

_While I was busy_

_Perfecting the art_

_Of deflecting compliments _

_I took it too far_

_And I let a ripple run right through my heart_

_Of battle stations we're building_

_You and I just grew apart_

_We grow apart._

Tony found himself three houses down from his parents having been convinced it was the right choice. It was like high school all over again when he decided to listen to Jack and all his other friends to just avoid Shawn. Like that was the right thing to do, he was so stupid for always putting his friends and family first. He could barely remember the last time he did something for himself.

His phone started ringing, he checked the caller ID and smiled, "Hey mom."

Five minutes later he was holding a letter addressed to him from New York, no name, no return address. He sat down on his couch and opened one of the side ends and a heart shaped piece of notebook paper fell out. Very carefully he unfolded it and began to read it.

"God damn you Shawn!" the glared down at the letter.

_While I decided _

_To make everyone else happy_

_I just put aside_

_My foolish pride_

_I guess I denied _

_My own desire_

_I was too busy pleasing _

_To ever be pleased_

_I forgot how to breathe_

_Or question anything_

_Or ask why?_

_Am I?_

Shawn found himself home for the first time in years. He decided he'd go walking like he and Tony use to always do. Down behind the fixed fences now laying broken and rotting on the grass, past the now closed corner store. Shawn saw it, old and rusting he turned it a little and listened to the screeching sound it made as it slowly turned. He smiled and sat down on the merry-go-round slowly he started spinning himself round and round.

For a brief moment he entertained the thought that if he spun the merry-go-round fast enough he could rewind time and erase all his mistakes. He'd go back and give Anthony that note the day he wrote it. Gone to his house in the middle of the night banged on his window till it opened or he broke it. Told him exactly how he felt and how he was sorry. All the mean and ugly things they'd said to each other was only because they were embarrassed and angry and had never gone through something like that.

Life really did fix all the things you never new; it was frustrating discovering that he was still learning things about love. He'd been alone for so long now coming home just seemed to intensify those feelings. Everyone he knew was gone living the life they always wanted. Going to school or having jobs far from this small town. All he wanted was somebody to be with, anyone would do at this point for him.

_Am I where I want to be?_

_Did I get here easily?_

_Did I make a sacrifice?_

_Did I take a sharp left_

_When I should've turned right?_

Tony very annoyed found himself smoking and walking, till he suddenly realized where he'd been walking to. He kicked at the old rotting fence boards, glanced at the closed corner store and then stopped at the tree just around the corner from the park he and Shawn use to meet up at. All those nights sitting on the merry-go-round, falling asleep there, waking up to cop car lights and then running way laughing. He stared at the carving just their initials forever imprinted into the bark. Tony smiled as he ran his hand over it.

_Am I where I want to be?_

_Can I sell off all of my gold?_

_Can I trade it in?_

_Will I wait for love _

_Or settle for somebody to hold._

Shawn sighed and let the merry-go- round start to slow. He was just ready to get up when the merry-go-round finally stopped and landed at the edge of the wooden fence next to _that_ tree. He got up and shoved his hands in his pockets almost deciding to avoid to the tree altogether and go the other way, but something felt like it was pulling him. He hated himself for falling for the urge to relive memories, he turned the corner and saw someone standing there and made to turn around.

_I'd settle for somebody to hold now…_

"Shawn?"

He spun around and smiled.

XXX

A/N: I've wanted to write something for a while now, I feel so rusty. This song always touches me so with all Darren Hayes songs, I suggest you find it and listen to it. He always has such strong feelings in his songs like I could feel how sad he was when he wrote it. Or I'm just crazy tired and delirious from all the morning sickness lol. Either way I hope you enjoyed it.


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